The World According to Chris

Travels, Obscenities, and Flames

2005-08-26T09:18:00.000-05:00

No, I'm not talking about Hell; I'm talking about my week/weekend so far. Oh boy...

Travels
I'm off this weekend (back to Philadelphia) to go searching out apartments with E and my friend Jason H! Jason lives in a wonderful area (I've heard. From him. No confirmation yet.), so the apartment hunt begins there! We're supposed to be looking at about 8 apartments this weekend, so hopefully we'll see something nice.

I've also just learned about a new play that I think sounds incredibly interesting. Dog Sees God is playing in New York through the 18th of next month and then again later in the year. Hopefully I'll be able to go see it.

Obscenitites
I'm excited for this trip to Philadelphia because besides apartment hunting, I'm going to get to see The Aristocrats this weekend! I've heard mixed reviews, but hey...It's Phyllis Diller telling a raunchy joke. What could be better?

Flames
After leaving work yesterday, I visited my grandmother for a couple of hours, played a couple of games of cards, and then headed home, only to find out that my next door neighbor's house was on fire. I stood outside for about 3 hours in a crowd watching flames shooting about 15 feet out of their roof (and towards my house!). The entire time I kept thinking about how I left windows open and how I was alone (Norm and Roseann left for Las Vegas and were still on the plane) Luckily, the firefighters sprayed down the side and roof our house as they battled the flames, so the fire did not spread. Once everything was calmed down and I could get back into our house, I found out that the smell of smoke wasn't as heavy as I thought it would be, nothing inside was damaged, and the only real problem was that the top windows in the house (facing the neighbor's side) were all cracked from heat/flying debris.

Unfortunately, our neighbors weren't so lucky; Their roof is gone and the top two floors of their house is basically a skeleton. (I can look out of our attic's window, through their house, to their neighbor's attic.

Hopefully they have some fire insurance.

Crap. I've left this entry on a really low note. Hang on.

Um...

Q: What did George W. Bush get on his S. A. T.s?
A: Drool.

HA!

2005-08-23T14:01:00.001-05:00

Well, I'm home from Philadelphia and the wild world of public libraries-- and I have returned with a job offer!

I had an interview this last weekend for a Librarian II position and I was offered the job immediately after the interview. It was kind of scary actually; two of the three people interviewing me just kind of pulled to one side in the room and whispered furiously with each other while I made small talk with the third and tried politely not to notice. I did learn however, that I am eligible to take a test in two years for a supervisory position-- I have to say that I like that. I like that a lot!

The only major drawback to this job is that it requires that I maintain residence in the city of Philadelphia. This, of course, means that I can't look for housing out around my cousins Cherie and Kelly (where the cost of living would have been A LOT cheaper...). But on the plus side, my friend Jason H has been tirelessly looking for an apartment in the area around his, so I at least know that I'll be living in a nice area with friends close by.

I'm also going to have to get a roommate in Philadelphia. Argh. As much fun as it is living with people, I will be the first to admit that I'm an only child, and as such, I like to have my own, well-defined, personal spaces. At this point though, it's not so bad: I'm probably going to move in with my friend E. I was a little aprehensive at first about it. E enjoys his left-handed cigarettes a lot, and I was concerned that this could become a problem. However, we had a talk about that and he is okay with leaving the apartment to smoke them or doing so in his room only. I really hope everything works out. And (God forbid) we start going at it like cats and dogs, it's only for one year. I however think that it will be grand!

The weekend after

2005-08-15T10:54:00.000-05:00

So I have decided that August is the month of change for me:

Employment
I got a phone call last week that I appeared good enough (on paper at least) to warrant a second interview from the Free Library of Philadelphia!!! I'm saying novenae to the Holy Lady and multiple prayers to St. Jerome (the patron saint of librarians) that I get this position. I also learned that I scored a 100% on Philadelphia's civil servant test and have been accepted at a Librarian II level. (Basically, this means that they've recognized that I have experience working in a library and would start at $5,000 more per year, if I get the position.) Now, knowing all this, and knowing that this is the perfect job for me (Adult/Teen librarian), how much do you want to bet that I completely blow this interview by doing something horribly, albeit accidentally digusting and/or disgraceful, like sneezing all over the head of HR.

DLP
I just gotten back from State College yesterday and the first Delta Lambda Phi, Alpha Rho Chapter reunion; not everyone could come unfortunately, but the guys who made it where wonderful! We laughed, we talked, we drank....we drank some more...and more...then laughed again, although this time much more tipsily...

I'm so happy because I was able to see people I haven't seen in almost 3 years and got the chance to remake some lost friendships. I also learned that everyone and their brother (ha! a pun!) lives in or around Philadelphia, so if I get the position, I'll have brunch buddies each Sunday.

Apparently, there is a strong opinion among the other brothers that we need to do this more than annually (which I completely agree with-- providing my liver can take more than one weekend a year with those lushes) so we're looking into renting a cabin in the Poconos in fall or a beach house in Dewey, Delaware. Fun!

Hopefully Elad will be able to make it next time!

Booklist
I just finished an interesting book entitled Beeing. The book told the true story of a recently divorced woman for one year when she decided to take up beekeeping as a hobby. The book was a light read, but I liked it because it was filled with beekeeping trivia.

I think that beekeeping would make a facinating hobby-- it would be very calming and fun to learn about. Plus you get to dress up like a moon-man-- and who doesn't want to do that?

Country Travels, Country Singers, and Countries International.

2005-08-11T08:31:00.000-05:00

Country Travels
Excitement! I'm going to State College this weekend for a DLP reunion and I really can't wait! It will be nice to see people again and to get to see central PA again. As much fun as it is to joke about it, and it's inhabitants, and the constant smell of manure, Centre County really has some lovely areas to visit.

Country Singers
Today can't get any better. I've finally seen a picture of Kristin Chenoweth as Dusty Springfield and she looks AMAZING! Honestly, I don't care if this movie doesn't have a plot, believeable characters, or even a supporting cast: It's Kristen chenoweth playing Dusty Springfield. The only way this can get any better is if Christine Baranski has a supporting role.

Countries International
Elad returns today from Israel! Granted, while he's be away I've lost all urges to drink, have begun to exercise regularly again, and have found to volunteer at an animal shelter and feed the homeless, I still have missed him. And I'm sure I'll still be able to do all that and talk to him frequenly. :)

Oh G.D. it....

2005-08-04T19:46:00.000-05:00

Darn it. Now, I can't say anything bad about that freakin' pep rally....Okay, yes I can. But first I must be polite and openly acknowledge the amazing things that our Horticulture program produces. As part of our pep rally, the school had a raffle for one of the new orchids that our school is producing (we're mass producing 5 more species for local stores & to raise funds for the programs). Anyhoo, we had the freakin' raffle and I won. And my orchid is lovely. Here is a picture of what the flower looks like:

Yes. Quite lovely! Any takers on how long I can keep this alive? I'm putting money on about two weeks...

Pep Rally!!!!!

2005-08-04T08:25:00.000-05:00

Last week the director of the school that I work at announced that we would be having a pep rally today. No one really seemed to mind about it and we all went on with our work. Then, we found out that the rally would be for the staff only. Now...Okay. Here's the thing: Our school is a technical training facility with one department offering an associate's degree-- we have no sports teams or competitive clubs to get behind. Why do we need a pep rally? And a pep rally for staff only? Now to make this even better (if possible), an email was sent out yesterday (day before the rally) and was recieved after a majority of the staff had gone home. What did it say? How could it insult our intelligence any more you ask? Well, here's a copy of it:

I look forward to seeing all staff at tomorrow's kick-off in the auditorium at 2:30 PM. I hope your director has discussed the purpose of the gathering and that everyone leaves the session as excited as we are.
The department that exhibits the most enthusiasm will be treated to a pizza lunch. Feel free to bring signs, noisemakers, props, etc., but more importantly, bring your best ATTITUDE.
Refreshments will be served as we leave at 3:30.

Val

Wow. A pizza lunch. That's what I've been looking forward to for ages!!!!!

You know, that trick didn't work at Penn State on college students (who will really do anything for free food), I really don't think that it's going to work on a bunch of teachers.

But you know, the real problem is that I've come to a cross-roads. Do I go home on my lunch hour and change into an SNL-inspired Spartan Cheerleader outfit just to annoy my library ladies when we win the pizza party, or do I just go home and get a flask, and quietly get plastered with them in the back row of the auditorium? I'm completely torn. Is it possible to skirt the line on this one? Should I just put my hair up in two ponytail scrunchies and grab some pom-poms and some wild turkey? I mean, drunken cheerleaders were funny back in high school; can they be funny in the professional world as well? Dare I risk that transition?

And the better question: Would my coworkers even notice?

Um...Title?

2005-08-03T19:27:00.000-05:00

Well here we are again posting away.

Today has been a fun-packed day: First I learned that I have to stay an extra 3 hours at work tomorrow. (Which actually isn't that bad-- at least I get paid.) Then I had to take a golf club (out of the library) and to our building's lost and found. Yes. A golf club. The best part about it? Someone used acrylic paint to give the club pink and white stripes all down the handle and on to the club. What's society coming to? Then I learned that on Friday (my day off) I'll be helping my cousins pull up carpets all day in a dormatory (starting at 6:45 a.m.). Wow, the only way my day can get any better is if I find out that I have poison ivy. :)

Oh well, at least i was able to find some highly entertaining (and some educational) stories today while online.

The first is my favorite-- just because of what we know about jews and tattoos, does anyone else find this highly ironic?

The next is just funny. I love a good marketing campaign gone bad.

And now: The reason why I love (possibly looooooooooove) Lauren Bacall.

Have a good evening all!

As a student leader...

2005-08-01T07:43:00.000-05:00

Ahh another Monday. Per usual, it started the same as every Monday does: I wake up, realize I'm late for work, realize I don't care that I'm late for work, watch 5 minutes of a gardening show on HGTV, arrive at work, and start emailing Jane. It's nice to know that you have a friend out there who hates going to work as much as you do and will gladly tell you about it while on her employers' time. However, Jane cannot play forever. Working at a bank as she does, Jane must occasionally run off to be a "greeter." And you know, every time we play "whose job sucks more," she totally trumps me each time with that one. Who wants to be greeted at a bank? It's worse than the old people at Walmart who struggle helplessly as they try to get a cart for you.

So, while I'm waiting patiently for Jane to get back (so we can go internet shopping together and discuss Harry Potter ad nauseam) I came across two very interesting articles:

The smallest Presidential Library for the Shortest Termed President (Maybe)

Collin Phillps sounds like "That Guy" at any party you go to.

The Atchison article is interesting. It's nice to see a southern town embracing it's rascist historican figures....It's also fun trivia when discussion presidential succession (and who doesn't talk about that at least once a week?!?!?)

As for Starbucks vs. Collin Phillips-- SHUT UP! I love that they mention that Phillips has worked at a cafe-- obviously he's a complete expert on all things bistro. I also love his ending point:

"Phillips said his major concern isn't whether a Starbucks lands in the middle of Middleton, but that the students who use the library get a say. Kraner said students were surveyed, but Phillips and the protesting students had not heard about the coffee shop plan until recently. 'As a student leader, I've not seen any survey or any broadcasts or e-mails,' Phillips said. 'It's like a surprise.'"

Can't you see him beginning every sentence like that? "As a student leader, I would like more toast with my eggs." "As a student leader, think it's time I get my hair cut." Ha! I think for the rest of the day, I'm totally going to start every sentence that way.

"As a student leader, our copier is out of toner." Love it.

Naked Mole Rat Voyeurism

2005-07-31T12:27:00.000-05:00

Day two of posting. This is kind of fun; I just need to remember to keep posting interesting information. As such, I have a topic for you all to consider: Why are there ugly people on Hot or Not?
Russell and I were talking this morning and discussed why people post terrible pictures of themselves. Of course, Russ did bring up the point of many people out there post pictures of people they hate-- to feel better about themselves when said person gets a rating of 2-- but there can't be that many fake posts, can there?

In other news, I found a fabulous web page from the National Zoo. The zoo has live-feed cameras in some exhibits, so you can watch the animals all day long. Have I mentioned I'm totally hooked? TOTALLY! Naked Mole Rats!

First post?

2005-07-30T22:14:00.000-05:00

So. Here we are. This is fun. Really. Actually, I have no clue what to say (or "post" as the case may be). You see, my friend Leland (should I use proper names on this? I could assign him a code name...) Anyways, my friend...um..."Mr. Little Pants" told me I should start a blog. I'm not sure if I should though; I mean, what is that that's really exciting in my life? And with a public space to brag about it, I'd be forced to make crap up. Ooh! Like saving the world from killer ninja dwarfs. And really, how many times can i save the world? I told Mr. Little Pants 12, but I think that's a gross over-estimate. 9? Probably. 8? Definitely. But after that, I'd start recycling themes and plots...Character development would go to hell...no, we're going to see how this works out. And if it does, I'll keep posting. If not TOTALLY do me a favor and pretend you've never read this!